I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
