Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
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