she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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