So gin and wine won't be happening again
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
