I met the friendliest cop last night
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
