my mouth tastes like poor choices
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
