The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
