Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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