White coat. Heels.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
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