Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
