dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
