So drunk, too bad you don't want this
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
