The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize