just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
