i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
