btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
