I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
