I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
