Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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