Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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