TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
how drunk are you?
Several
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
