A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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