when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So much rum. So many feels.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
