Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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