im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You're breaking my sexual little heart
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
