It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I would fuck him just for his dog
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