I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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