you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
