I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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