I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize