we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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