To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
