If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
