Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
