Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
