We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I skipped work to stalk him.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
