in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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