So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize