i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
