I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
