If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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