I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
