dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Vodka?
Forever.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
