Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
