Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So much Jack, so little girl.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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