if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
