god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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