I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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