Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
