We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
A bitchslap is in order.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
