if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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