i need an iv and a liver transplant
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
