Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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