On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
No subtext here. People are naked.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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