uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
