and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
