Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Pants 0. Shit 1.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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