Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
