Pregnant stripper...not hot.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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